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February felt strangely long. Maybe because the news about Corona Virus has been slowly impacting the society, or because I wrestled with questioning my heart for yoga and my own yoga practice. Throughout this month, as I lead the classes around the theme of Santosha (finding contentment) and Aparigraha (non-possessiveness), I felt the themes impacting me in my own life. First of all, the big question: How do you find contentment when life is not how it should be? And this isn't the selfish "I wish I had more..." kind of "should." This is when people are hurting, suffering, sick. This is when I know I can be more consistent in how I walk my yoga journey and not being satisfied with where things are. It almost felt irresponsible to say, "I am content." Or mediocre at best.
A response came through my yoga practice. When I was noticing how I had lost my ability from before and telling myself I need to practice more, a gentle voice let me know that my existence in this moment was enough. Yes, there are things I can do, and I will. But just for this moment, I was free of musts and shoulds, and content that I was loved for who I am. Another powerful practice was gratitude. The more I became present to my husband's embrace, to the beauty of the world, to the delicious fresh breath I inhale deeply, and was thankful, I was closer to Santosha.
Alongside Santosha was Aparigraha to support me. It reminded me that I can constantly build up an ideal, an "idol" to follow through my endeavors, even good ones. "I wish I were like that person." "If my family member becomes healthy, then we'll all be happy." "If Corona wasn't around we would be satisfied." There are a lot of longings, and it's good to notice them. They're not bad either. But then Aparigraha gently nudged me: it's okay, you can let go. I've got you. There is abundance, and you don't need to be afraid.
Fear and scarcity are the opposite of gratitude. They cause us to not be satisfied, and to grip on. It's also hard to take action and let go when fear has got a hold of you. I noticed that it is an ongoing practice to cultivate a sense of safety so I can let go. Taking deep breaths in. Letting go a little more in shavasana. Asking for help, admitting you can't control everything, and when help is given.
Where are you at as you read these words? Are you in a situation where you are far from being content? Is there fear and suffering? If so, practice this with me. Close your eyes, take a deep breath in, and tell yourself, "Thank you for being here, for being you." The situation may still be the same, but what you see when you open your eyes may have a different shade of color.
#Santosha #gratitude #ãµã³ããŒã·ã£ #æºè¶³ãããïŒãšã¬å²åŠ #yogaphilosophy